Whether it’s questioning the so-called “adult humor” in Shrek or condemning parents for bringing their kids to an evening showing of I Am Legend, parents promoting censorship are the norm rather than the exception, online and off. The common caveat most censoring parents cling to is the notion that restricting their childrens’ media choices is not censorship at all — it’s just good parenting.
I beg to differ.
We don’t censor what our children are exposed to in the media. We listen to a variety of music, watch some of the popular prime time shows, and visit our local movie theater with great frequency. My son has chosen to avoid most television and isn’t quite ready to accompany us to the cinema again (though he did when he was a baby), but my daughter loves the experience of going to the movies. She’s seen a variety of films, including horror and comedy, spanning all ratings. Contrary to the popular expectations of the naysayers, she’s never had a nightmare and doesn’t act out inappropriately in any way. What our viewing choices have given her is the terrific opportunity to learn about and discuss many issues, with guidance from her mom and dad.
Seeing as many parents shy away from conversations about war, sexuality, and other intense topics, it’s no surprise that they censor media depicting these things as well. Perhaps they are doing it out of laziness, and perhaps it’s a misguided attempt to extend the innocence of childhood, but I can’t help but to feel that it’s a terrible plan overall.
What do you accomplish when you censor a child’s viewing? Certainly, you make the desired material that much more attractive. You also create an environment in which adults are treated like a distinctly separate class of citizens. And finally, you contribute to the puritanical values of a society that has been greatly damaged by those values. I’m thinking here of the Baby Scoop Era, the horrid treatment of gay, lesbian, and transgender people, restricted access to the morning-after pill, and a great many other events governed by backwards thinkers purporting to profess chastity, innocence, and virtue. Gag.
By allowing our children to choose for themselves what they do and don’t want to see, not only do we give them some credit — for being able to separate fantasy from reality, for being able to make intelligent choices, and for being individuals worthy of respect and consideration — but we also open the doors of communication for them. There’s nothing that I, as a mom, cannot explain to my children, and there are plenty of things I’d rather they learned from me first.
Turns out, not censoring is good parenting, after all.
